Life is getting simpler for me...in all its complexity. Simpler inside because I don't run away so much from what I feel. I acknowledge it to myself at least, and don't try to have all the answers. And my security in God's knowledge of me, and His unfailing love for me, is growing deeper every day. Last night my daughter had her second showing and sharing of her journey in photos of stories in Uganda last summer, her return to the home of her childhood, with my other daughter joining her. Both times we had between 25 and 30 friends and acquaintances. Both times she did so well, and we enjoyed hosting with Ugandan food and blessing our friends...but it's all work, and all tiring, on top of the rest of life. But it was a joy, and it also brought up many past questions and issues for me about our life there, and the big story that it will always be in my own life. So, along with work and study and all that life has brought this past week, I wrote my blog post around midnight last night, having the comfort and simplicity of a song I found this week by the same artist who did the one I posted last Saturday. It is simple and deep. The way I like to be. Here is the post from the devotional team blog I write for on Saturdays, with the song: (www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com):
No One Knows My Heart Better Than You
The end of a long evening, a long day, a long week. I reflect on many conversations, many questions in my mind and heart, many wonderings about relationships. Some moments and conversations were filled with deep understanding on many levels. Some were filled with tension and confusion, causing my mind to swirl. Sometimes I wished I had not shared as much as I did. Some times I wished I had shared more. Sometimes I lay awake pondering it all. But the place of comfort and peace was in my Heavenly Father's presence. I crawled into His lap in my heart, and accepted His love, became His little child again, and rested in the knowledge of the depth of His knowledge of me. It didn't matter anymore how much I was understood or not by others, because He understands me, and I see by His touch in my life in so many ways that He is able to work out what I need to happen to move ahead, despite the agony of living,as this song expresses it.
So here is this comforting truth, expressed for us all, in a song.
No One Knows My Heart Better Than You
Standing at my window, hidden by the night
Harboring the private wounds, safe and out of sight
There's an agony in living, but there's a comfort in the truth
That no one knows my heart better than You.
I can face a lot of people with this sanguine act of mine
Guarded by the eloquence I sometimes hide behind
But it's a veil of false pretenses that You can see right thru
'Cause no one knows my heart better than You.
Part of me is reaching, and part of me holds back
But when it comes to You I am a doorway
You're free to walk into
'Cause no one knows my heart better than You.
Words and music by Susan Ashton, Billy Sprague and Wayne Kirkpatrick
Copywright 1991 Birdwing Music/Sking Horse Inc. ASCAP/Emily Boothe, Inc. (BMI)
February 21, 2009
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