joy in new knowledge and experience, and in God's wisdom

I am off to the first day of Adult Education training, a series of Saturdays I will do over the fall, winter and spring. It is an adventure, not very costly, and not too heavy on book work, which is what I need these days with all my other challenges. A new start. Not sure where it will lead or how it will help me, but new learning will always bring growth and confidence in various ways. I am so grateful for that opportunity today.

Yesterday God was so faithful and I was so conscious of His blessing and guiding as I went through my day of supply teaching. It was a day with enough challenges, and yet there were special blessings too, seeing other teachers I like whom I have not seen for awhile, finding myself coping in new ways with situations that have fazed me in the past. There was lots to rejoice about.

Today I go as a student, and so I don't carry that same anxiety. But the challenge is there all the same - to be an ambassador for Christ - to honour and respect others and myself. To not talk too much, or give myself away in a secular environment. But I believe most of all the challenge is to remember that it is God who holds the key to all wisdom and knowledge. Whatever this class, this set of courses, this certificate, will give me, they are dust and ashes in comparison with what I already hold in Christ. And so even this I must consider as "rubbish" in order that I may hold what I have gained in Christ - IN WHOM ARE HIDDEN ALL THE TREASURES OF WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE. (Phil. 3: 7-8)

joy in recognizing growth in the midst of pruning

This morning as I am getting ready to go on a supply teaching assignment I see new growth in the way I am handling stuff. I am tired, but trusting I will be okay and refreshed in God's strength for the day. I am a little anxious, but knowing He will see me through. I am aware of the many concerns on my mind and heart, but believing that He has my life under His control and will make a way in each and every situation for me, as I trust in Him and do things His way as much as I can. I am keeping the eternal perspective as I look back and look forward in my life. I was encouraged last night to hear my daughter say that if she were to die at her age it would be okay because she has had an interesting and fulfilling life already. That was such a blessing to me. I don't think I could have articulated it that way myself at her age although I was serious about spiritual things and had had an interesting life in many ways. But what is always most important is to keep God's eternal long term perspective on anything, whether it be the momentary trials we are undergoing in any way in our lives, or some deep pruning that is going on. Whatever it is, it is our trust in Him that matters, to Him and to us, and that is what will see us through.

joy in trusting in God's provision

I woke up tired and a bit agitated this morning. Worrying about finances and the future - how to get enough work to survive for many years to come, how to help our girls with university - how the funds we've set up will survive - etc. etc. It was a heavy load on my mind. But at the same time, much like it was for me on Sunday morning, was the counterpoint of the words and the victorious tune of Brian Doerksen's version of the Lord's Prayer. The particular words that kept ringing in my ears were "The kingdom is Yours. The power is Yours. Foreeeever...forever. Amen". The strength of the words in the ears of my heart was a great comfort as I set about organizing my day, still heavy with the other thoughts.

I remember my brief reconnection with a former mentor on Sunday afternoon. I had mentioned about the educational journey I am on to provide for a career for myself when everyone else is retiring on a kind of pension I won't have. She firmly reminded me not to love money. I said "I don't love it. I just need it." But I don't need to prove anything to her. What I was grateful for was her parting reminder: "God WILL provide." She had given me a new mantra. Of course in a sense I have lived by it one way or another all my life. And so He has. But somehow that day, and today, and in this season, and I guess for the rest of my days, that will be my mantra, my solid place. God will provide for all that I need to live my life with Him, and take care of all whom I love. And in that knowledge and trust I find joy today.

joy in leanin' on the Lord's side (again)

Today is Wednesday, my day for posting on the team devotional site, www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com. Instead of putting my post on my own site as well today, I direct you to that site. This week I developed the theme I explored a few days ago. I hope you lean on the Lord today, and find His support in every way you need.

joy in a hidden life with God

Tuesday morning...my younger daughter shares her anxieties about school with my older daughter and me before she goes to catch the bus. She heads off, still struggling inwardly. She runs back, saying she can't face it, but we tell her she has to, with loving words, and send her back to catch the bus. My other daughter and I drink green tea and eat grapefruit and ponder the choices she is contemplating - university, or something else for a while. It's all about the meaning of life. I myself woke up to news of the financial crises in the world and silently thanked God I at least had a supply teaching job for half a day for each of the next three days. But I know myself and life well enough to know that my only rock is God. I said something like that to my struggling daughter - that her life is in herself, with Christ. It's not in her peer group, or her classes, or her friendships or lack of them. It's all about her own hidden life with herself and with God. A pretty tall order for a 17 year old to absorb. Did I really fulfill that myself at that age? Yes and no. I was wavering too, and I didn't have a mother who told me that. I just knew that she faced stuff, with her own resources, and I tried to face stuff too. But today, along with my prayers for my daughters, and whatever help I can give them, I rejoice that, no matter what, I know Jesus Christ as my Saviour, that He lives within me, that His truth is rich and ever available to me, and that I can know Him deep within my spirit, no matter what is going on in my life. I rejoice too that my own struggles these days have made those lessons ever richer for me, and that I know because I know because I know that my feet stand firm upon the solid rock, and that my life is hidden with Him. Streams in the Desert speaks again:

"Every saintly soul that would wield great power with men must win it in some hidden Cherith. The acquisition of spiritual power is impossible, unless we can hide ourselves from men and from ourselves in some deep gorge where we may absorb the power of the eternal God, as vegetation through long ages absorbed these qualities of sunshine, which it now gives back through burning coal."

joy in growing "under the load"

Do you use the saying, "Things that don't kill you outright make you stronger."? I have used it a lot in the past few years. I first got to know it many years ago in a little book called Grooks, by Piet Hein. It seemed that it was written in the context of wartime and some other heavy duty stuff. Anyway, I have found that many people think it and say it, and it becomes a way of encouraging each other about the growth that comes through facing crises, going through them, and coming out on the other side.

Yet I know that there are those who don't survive crises well, and I ponder what kind of helpful words I can have for them. None of us wants to offer cold comfort, or be Job's comforters. We want to be there for others, and be WITH them in their struggles, not give the impression that we know what is really happening or can articulate it better for them than they can for themselves. This seems a particular problem with Christian counselling, and I appreciated books I read about it in my courses that pinpointed it. They said that Christians too often have the "There you are" approach to people and their problems, and try to pigeonhole them and label them. They are the Job's comforters who really can get it all wrong.

One author helpfully suggested that what is needed is a "Where are you?" approach, the question God asked Adam and Eve when they were hiding from Him in the garden. We need to ask others and ourselves be asked where they and we are. When we articulate that to others and to ourselves then we can ask for the help we need to move forward in our lives.

Nevertheless, we often do face things that feel like they are killing us, or could, and we often do grow stronger in doing so. Yesterday I saw a former mentor and brought her briefly up to date on what has been happening with me. I used the word growth. Her response was " It's the growing that matters." I couldn't agree with her more. And that articulation reinforced the words that jumped out at me from the reading in Streams in the Desert for yesterday: " I grow under the load."

I also read the following in that same entry:

"He draws close, to ripen my wisdom, to deepen my peace, to increase my courage, to augment my power to be of use to others, through the very experience which is so grievous and distressing."

So may it be for all of us today. May we remember also that Jesus walks with us, and that the yoke we carry is one we do so in His strength, and may we have the courage to cast off any yoke which is not one that He would have us carry, and may we change the way we carry our yokes so that they are carried in His strength, and then those yokes will not kill us, and we will "grow under the load."

joy in knowing God's sovereignty

I lay awake in the very early hours of this morning, my body tense with the many things on my mind and heart. I enjoyed the comfort of the pitter patter of raindrops on the roof, and tried to focus beyond the trials and worries and wonderings. It seemed all I could do was sing to the Lord, and express my trust in His power and sovereignty in my life, His capacity to make all things work together for good, to sort everything out, to reveal mysteries and solve complex riddles. Out of my heart flowed the words to a favourite and well known worship song:

"My Jesus, my saviour, Lord there is none like you. All of my days I want to praise the wonder of your mighty love. "

As I sang I still ruminated on my concerns. It was like a counterpoint. Worry. Sing. Worry. Sing. Yet the deep comfort of the words was sinking in. I knew because I knew because I knew that God is in control of every facet of my life. I may feel like there are great storms in my world, even when there is peace on the outside. I may feel like I am walking on water when it is actually very solid ground. But it doesn't matter. God is in control. I am trusting Him, and living in that trust in a very tangible way. And this interchange this morning is like looking into the reality of the ongoing battle with light and darkness in my world, and in my heart. What matters is that I know God, I love Him and want Him more than anything and anyone in my life. He has been faithful, despite all that has been hard and confusing in my life. He will continue to be faithful. And I know and trust that. And so I sing.

I will quote here the rest of the words to that wonderful song. And I will look forward to singing in the choir again this morning, and to helping to lead worship again this evening. They will be times when I am privileged to sing similar words in such intentional deliberate ways that they cannot fail to strengthen me as I hope these words will strengthen both you and me today.

My Jesus, my Saviour
Lord, there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of your mighty love.
My comfort, my shelter,
Tower of refuge and strength,
Let every breath, all that I am.
Never cease to worship you

Chorus:
Shout to the Lord all the earth, let us sing
Power and majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands.
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

I have just been playing various video and sound versions of this song on the internet, but don't yet know how to upload any of them to this blog site. So all I can suggest is that if you want to be encouraged in that way, then google the name of the song and play the one that suits you best. But you will likely find, like I did, that the version that plays in your own head and heart is the best.