I woke up tired and a bit agitated this morning. Worrying about finances and the future - how to get enough work to survive for many years to come, how to help our girls with university - how the funds we've set up will survive - etc. etc. It was a heavy load on my mind. But at the same time, much like it was for me on Sunday morning, was the counterpoint of the words and the victorious tune of Brian Doerksen's version of the Lord's Prayer. The particular words that kept ringing in my ears were "The kingdom is Yours. The power is Yours. Foreeeever...forever. Amen". The strength of the words in the ears of my heart was a great comfort as I set about organizing my day, still heavy with the other thoughts.
I remember my brief reconnection with a former mentor on Sunday afternoon. I had mentioned about the educational journey I am on to provide for a career for myself when everyone else is retiring on a kind of pension I won't have. She firmly reminded me not to love money. I said "I don't love it. I just need it." But I don't need to prove anything to her. What I was grateful for was her parting reminder: "God WILL provide." She had given me a new mantra. Of course in a sense I have lived by it one way or another all my life. And so He has. But somehow that day, and today, and in this season, and I guess for the rest of my days, that will be my mantra, my solid place. God will provide for all that I need to live my life with Him, and take care of all whom I love. And in that knowledge and trust I find joy today.
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