I'm off to my second last course in Barrie - glad I won't be driving in snow or rain...glad the courses are almost over..glad they have been so useful and interesting.
Sarah is safely in NYS for a gathering of MK's [ translate missionary kids] , Rachel is working at home, we are moving ahead on finally fixing up our kitchen slowly...I am creating order in the basement in a long term full way that is taking so much more time than I thought it would...I did teach one day again...so I am able to take life in more of an ordered way that goes with my pace...learning to do that is good...going to bed early because I am fighting Sarah's cold...we must take life as it comes..
May blessings lead and follow us all as we keep in order!
November 22, 2008
November 21, 2008
joy in God's tenderness and compassion
"A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out." Ias. 42:3
Today's verse at the end of the morning Daily Light reading reminds me of the movie I watched with my daughter last night: August Rush. What a lovely movie, about faith and inspiration, courage and trust, and belief in a dream overpowering everything else. And about God's sovereignty and protection, and also about Satan's destructive power. It was all there, although not explicitly intended, I think. You would have to see it to understand what I mean, but it would be well worth it, as well as full of wonderful music. It encouraged me so much, as I watch the lonely child in me desperately believe for my own dreams, and those of others, in the face of so many obstacles, but having the power not only of my dreams, but the friendship of my almighty saviour, who will do and not do as this verse proclaims.
Today's verse at the end of the morning Daily Light reading reminds me of the movie I watched with my daughter last night: August Rush. What a lovely movie, about faith and inspiration, courage and trust, and belief in a dream overpowering everything else. And about God's sovereignty and protection, and also about Satan's destructive power. It was all there, although not explicitly intended, I think. You would have to see it to understand what I mean, but it would be well worth it, as well as full of wonderful music. It encouraged me so much, as I watch the lonely child in me desperately believe for my own dreams, and those of others, in the face of so many obstacles, but having the power not only of my dreams, but the friendship of my almighty saviour, who will do and not do as this verse proclaims.
November 20, 2008
joy in finding my voice again..and seeing more evidence of God
Not sure how long it has been since I gave myself a rest from daily posts, articulating my thoughts and just putting on favourite music. I actually found that it took more time to search for music on YouTube than it takes to write a post. But it was helpful for me not to seek to express stuff for a time, and to do bottom line stuff about my life in the Lord. That seems to be the theme these days for me anyway. There is lots going on in my life on the surface, and just under the surface, and way down deep below the surface. But it seems some of the angst is subsiding. It seems that my level of trust in the Lord is growing and covering the floor of the basement of my heart. I like that image - just came up with it. It's as if I've had..and probably still do...lots of raw patches on this floor of my heart...areas where it hurts to tred...where the floor is rough and cold and bare and hard. Now it seems there is more of a soft layer of carpet over more areas...as if there is more trust in God's total love and care for me.
An extra blessing came for me when Belinda, the organizer of the devotional blog I write for, http://www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com/, emailed our team to say that my post had been quoted on another blog. Marilyn, the writer on that blog, had quoted the line from yesterday's post, "When he came into the room, the air changed." ( see her blog if you like, http://asgoodadayasany.wordpress.com). It was such a blessing to have Marilyn say that our team blog is one of her favourites, and also to expand on the theme in those words I quoted about my grandfather.
Most of all I have found my voice again because I woke up in the night...3 a.m. with the words "Psalm 84" and so of course got up to read it and see what God had to say. I read it in three translations, NIV, the Living Bible, and The Message. Check it out. The main gist I'll refer to today is that I have come through the "Valley of Weeping" and am stronger because of it. I am blessed because of it. So it is a confirmation of what I often quote from Streams in the Desert.
I also found myself singing "Who Am I", the song I embedded yesterday, from Casting Crowns. The line about the Bright and Morning star thrills me. Think of all the names there are for Jesus in the Bible. I must study them again. I have a whole book about them. But somehow that name is so amazing. He can only be God when we call Him that. I can feel so often that I have known God so intimately for so many years, and yet there is so much I don't celebrate. I guess that can be true about people too. We can be so caught up in negative issues about people in our lives that we don't stop to celebrate the positives...the amazing things about them...and even about ourselves.
An extra blessing came for me when Belinda, the organizer of the devotional blog I write for, http://www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com/, emailed our team to say that my post had been quoted on another blog. Marilyn, the writer on that blog, had quoted the line from yesterday's post, "When he came into the room, the air changed." ( see her blog if you like, http://asgoodadayasany.wordpress.com). It was such a blessing to have Marilyn say that our team blog is one of her favourites, and also to expand on the theme in those words I quoted about my grandfather.
Most of all I have found my voice again because I woke up in the night...3 a.m. with the words "Psalm 84" and so of course got up to read it and see what God had to say. I read it in three translations, NIV, the Living Bible, and The Message. Check it out. The main gist I'll refer to today is that I have come through the "Valley of Weeping" and am stronger because of it. I am blessed because of it. So it is a confirmation of what I often quote from Streams in the Desert.
I also found myself singing "Who Am I", the song I embedded yesterday, from Casting Crowns. The line about the Bright and Morning star thrills me. Think of all the names there are for Jesus in the Bible. I must study them again. I have a whole book about them. But somehow that name is so amazing. He can only be God when we call Him that. I can feel so often that I have known God so intimately for so many years, and yet there is so much I don't celebrate. I guess that can be true about people too. We can be so caught up in negative issues about people in our lives that we don't stop to celebrate the positives...the amazing things about them...and even about ourselves.
November 19, 2008
joy in quietness and confidence
This is the post I wrote for my weekly devotional post on www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com. It came out of the huge snowstorm we had this previous Saturday night. I didn't know how it was going to come out when I began to write it, but I am pleased it weaves in themes from my family heritage and my own past life.
The Voice in the Darkness
Three hours driving carefully into the blackness of the night, the white flecks of snow driving mercilessly at our car, mercifully shod with snow tires only two days before. My eyes strained to follow the path laid out by those ahead of me, my arms steadily gripping the wheel, my heart quietly speaking, "In quietness and confidence shall be your strength."
Forty seven years before those words had been pasted by loving hands on a white card on a black page by my Granny Kay, her gift to me for my confirmation, my public profession of faith within my denomination. All the way home, as I stared at white on black, my mind and heart pondered, as many times before, the meaning of those words written so long ago, black on white on black.
The rounded characters of her English style handwriting on that white card spoke to me, as always, of the comfort, warmth and kindness of her character. Dear Granny Kay, specially beloved second wife to my widowed grandfather, precious and dear, Bishop W.T. Hallam, an outstanding evangelical Canadian Anglican bishop in his day, but most of all a man of God, a servant of Christ, of whom my cousin said, "When he came into the room, the air changed." It was one of his Bibles that Granny Kay passed on to me on that special day.
I didn't fully appreciate the significance of those words until many years later. I think at the time I thought them odd, as if they didn't speak enough of great exploits that awaited me in my life in Christ, as if they didn't promise great weapons to fight the battles I felt lay before me. After all, I always felt I carried the mantle of spiritual leadership from my bishop grandfather, and that my destiny involved rising to responsibilities within the body of Christ that were weighty and solemn.
Such was the confusion of a child reared in the church without enough nurturing of deepest needs. Yes, Granny Kay's deep faith was there, expressed largely in an Anglican way, carried with deep and loving humility, the fruit that had won the heart of my grandfather after many years of friendship to his family as she served her own mother and graciously worked at her profession as a Home Economics teacher and area supervisor. I spent many hours with her in her own widowed years, reading to her from the Book of Common Prayer, and hearing her talk of sensing "Will's" presence with her in her room. We shared the bond of our faith and our love for my grandfather, who died when I was five, but who had baptized me as an infant and held me and cherished me often in my early years.
What was the confidence of which she tried to speak to me? Who else was there to help to guide me into that deep trust? Yes, she exemplified that quietness and confidence. How was I to find it in the midst of the turmoils of adolescence and young adulthood? How was I to make those words come off the page of my life, be the white light of guidance on the black pages of experience?
I found many through the years who taught me about confidence in Christ, who fostered my growth in spiritual gifts, gave me opportunities for leadership in the body of Christ, spoke prophetic words over my life and encouraged my sense of destiny. Some were noisy and some were quiet. And the spiritual climate in so much of the body encouraged a seeking after new words, new teaching to shine light in the darkness and illuminate His word in my life. But as the years wore on, like the long journey in the night with the almost blinding snow in my face, it was His quiet voice that began to speak more loudly in my heart. "You belong to Me. That is all that matters, and that is the source of your confidence. Your confidence is your trust in Me. I am faithful. You can rest secure in me."
The almost blinding snowstorms of life have knocked lots of stuffing out of me: my self confidence in my abilities, my pride in my family heritage, my record of spiritual leadership as a missionary, my academic awards, the letters after my name. All of them are rubbish in some sense, and so they should be. Granny Kay and Grandad knew that. That was why they wore their mantles of leadership and achievement well. I seek now, so many years later, to have my strength, like they did, in the quietness of the confidence of my trust in my mighty Saviour and Lord, my friendship with the creator of the universe, who tells me I belong to Him. I am His because He created me in His image, and I need nothing more to make me worthy of His love. And I need nothing more than His righteousness, His gifts, to make me able to stand in His service and His presence, in this world and the next. These are the secrets, the keys to my identity, my worth, my confidence and my trust.
WHO AM I by Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
The Voice in the Darkness
Three hours driving carefully into the blackness of the night, the white flecks of snow driving mercilessly at our car, mercifully shod with snow tires only two days before. My eyes strained to follow the path laid out by those ahead of me, my arms steadily gripping the wheel, my heart quietly speaking, "In quietness and confidence shall be your strength."
Forty seven years before those words had been pasted by loving hands on a white card on a black page by my Granny Kay, her gift to me for my confirmation, my public profession of faith within my denomination. All the way home, as I stared at white on black, my mind and heart pondered, as many times before, the meaning of those words written so long ago, black on white on black.
The rounded characters of her English style handwriting on that white card spoke to me, as always, of the comfort, warmth and kindness of her character. Dear Granny Kay, specially beloved second wife to my widowed grandfather, precious and dear, Bishop W.T. Hallam, an outstanding evangelical Canadian Anglican bishop in his day, but most of all a man of God, a servant of Christ, of whom my cousin said, "When he came into the room, the air changed." It was one of his Bibles that Granny Kay passed on to me on that special day.
I didn't fully appreciate the significance of those words until many years later. I think at the time I thought them odd, as if they didn't speak enough of great exploits that awaited me in my life in Christ, as if they didn't promise great weapons to fight the battles I felt lay before me. After all, I always felt I carried the mantle of spiritual leadership from my bishop grandfather, and that my destiny involved rising to responsibilities within the body of Christ that were weighty and solemn.
Such was the confusion of a child reared in the church without enough nurturing of deepest needs. Yes, Granny Kay's deep faith was there, expressed largely in an Anglican way, carried with deep and loving humility, the fruit that had won the heart of my grandfather after many years of friendship to his family as she served her own mother and graciously worked at her profession as a Home Economics teacher and area supervisor. I spent many hours with her in her own widowed years, reading to her from the Book of Common Prayer, and hearing her talk of sensing "Will's" presence with her in her room. We shared the bond of our faith and our love for my grandfather, who died when I was five, but who had baptized me as an infant and held me and cherished me often in my early years.
What was the confidence of which she tried to speak to me? Who else was there to help to guide me into that deep trust? Yes, she exemplified that quietness and confidence. How was I to find it in the midst of the turmoils of adolescence and young adulthood? How was I to make those words come off the page of my life, be the white light of guidance on the black pages of experience?
I found many through the years who taught me about confidence in Christ, who fostered my growth in spiritual gifts, gave me opportunities for leadership in the body of Christ, spoke prophetic words over my life and encouraged my sense of destiny. Some were noisy and some were quiet. And the spiritual climate in so much of the body encouraged a seeking after new words, new teaching to shine light in the darkness and illuminate His word in my life. But as the years wore on, like the long journey in the night with the almost blinding snow in my face, it was His quiet voice that began to speak more loudly in my heart. "You belong to Me. That is all that matters, and that is the source of your confidence. Your confidence is your trust in Me. I am faithful. You can rest secure in me."
The almost blinding snowstorms of life have knocked lots of stuffing out of me: my self confidence in my abilities, my pride in my family heritage, my record of spiritual leadership as a missionary, my academic awards, the letters after my name. All of them are rubbish in some sense, and so they should be. Granny Kay and Grandad knew that. That was why they wore their mantles of leadership and achievement well. I seek now, so many years later, to have my strength, like they did, in the quietness of the confidence of my trust in my mighty Saviour and Lord, my friendship with the creator of the universe, who tells me I belong to Him. I am His because He created me in His image, and I need nothing more to make me worthy of His love. And I need nothing more than His righteousness, His gifts, to make me able to stand in His service and His presence, in this world and the next. These are the secrets, the keys to my identity, my worth, my confidence and my trust.
WHO AM I by Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
November 18, 2008
joy that He knows better than I
This song from Joseph, Prince of Dreams, has always spoken deeply to me:
Blessed is he whose faith is not offended
When all around his way
The power of God is working out deliverance
For others day by day.
Though in some prison drear his own soul languish,
Till life itself be spent,
Yet still can trust his Father's love and purpose,
And rest therein content.
Blessed is he, who through long years of suffering,
Buf off from active toil,
Still shares by prayer and praise the work of others,
And thus 'divides the spoil'.
Blessed are you, O child of God, who sufferest
And canst not understand
The reason for thy pain, yet gladly leavest
Thy life in His blest Hand.
Yea, blessed art thou whose faith is 'not offended'
By trials unexplained,
By mysteries unsolved, past understanding,
Until the goal is gained.
Freda Hanbury Allen
Blessed is he whose faith is not offended
When all around his way
The power of God is working out deliverance
For others day by day.
Though in some prison drear his own soul languish,
Till life itself be spent,
Yet still can trust his Father's love and purpose,
And rest therein content.
Blessed is he, who through long years of suffering,
Buf off from active toil,
Still shares by prayer and praise the work of others,
And thus 'divides the spoil'.
Blessed are you, O child of God, who sufferest
And canst not understand
The reason for thy pain, yet gladly leavest
Thy life in His blest Hand.
Yea, blessed art thou whose faith is 'not offended'
By trials unexplained,
By mysteries unsolved, past understanding,
Until the goal is gained.
Freda Hanbury Allen
November 17, 2008
joy in our Beautiful One
Here is a lovely song, one I played a lot a few years ago. It has passion and power, and since God has been doing some more beautiful things in my life, I will use it to celebrate Him for that, and for who He is.
November 16, 2008
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