joy in "careful talking"

We had Chinese last night. My fortune cookie said "Careful talking commands respect". It timed with a surprise phone call from someone who had challenged me in a church group discussion the evening before. He wanted to make sure we were okay about it, and he shared how my answer to his challenge had been as challenging to him. As I carefully reflected back to him I realized how well I had done in that part of the discussion, threatening as it was, and what a good choice I had made in channeling the discussion into another more fruitful direction. I was able to affirm that in that situation I had made some good choices. I had thought and spoken carefully. I cannot say I always do so well. A lot of my energy has gone into beating myself up for conversations I have had where I have given my power away to others, where I have talked too much, etc. etc. But knowing that God is working with me and I am growing in Him encourages me. And seeing fruit does as well.

This morning His word reminds me again of timeless truths:
Proverbs 13: 3:

Whoever controls his mouth protects his own life.
Whoever has a big mouth comes to ruin.

I have just read this to my husband and of course he has reminded me of "old Chinese proverb":

Better to say nothing and let everyone think you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

And of course there is the Wise Old Owl Rhyme. I just checked it on Google. It's obviously so timeless that it's out there in cyberspace, just like you and I.

A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

joy in hearing His voice today

Today I left my job on good terms and felt free to move on. There was no sense of condemnation. And I am so grateful for all that I learned about myself. As I moved on with the day I discovered so many new things to accomplish and they had a sense of freshness and vision about them. One of them was a new perspective on some current local ministry I am doing. Last evening at a special church meeting I felt some stirrings within me, with discomfort and questions in my spirit as to where I fit in the whole process of what was going on. As I was able to consult the Lord more about those questions today, I got some answers which were deeply satisfying. They were spoken in His voice to me alone. I, His little sheep, know His voice deep within my spirit, and when I take time to consult Him quietly and with confidence, then He reconnects me to the bigger picture He has given me and shows me how to connect the present with the past and the future. I am so grateful that He did that for me today, and I know He will continue to do so.

joy in realistically assessing ourselves.

Today was difficult but rewarding. I got in touch with reality about myself in this summer job and realized it was not going to work physically or emotionally, and resigned. It was hard to realize that once again I had not really adequately assessed myself and how I fit into situations. And accepting that I am who I am with certain gifts and skills and that I need to work with those and not try to be someone I can't be. Those are liberating experiences, even when they involve painful decisions. I am grateful for my body and my emotions telling me it wouldn't work, and overruling my head. But it still scares me how easily my head can overrule and cause me harm. But God is faithful and makes use of all our experiences, and brings good out of them. That is one of His many specialties and I know that as I rely more and more on Him in every decision, He will help to lead me in straight paths in every area of my life.

May He do so for you today, and every day.

joy in remembering the Big Picture

Today is Wednesday, the day for me to post regularly on the devotional team blog, http://www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com. This is my post, and it has been healing to write it, and remind myself of the Big Picture which God has for my life, and His promises to me in the midst of the hard times.

What’s going on, Lord?

Do you ever feel like Jeremiah? You know – gloomy, negative, whatever, the way you are when people say “Don’t be a Jeremiah.” I can feel like him, but more like he might have felt when he was young, when God told him there were great things for him to do. God has often told me that, and then soon after I have found myself in another situation where I felt like a child – clueless, inept, stupid. And then I have begun to question God’s calling on my life, and His purposes in the present moment.

Not only that, but there have been times when not only did I feel all of those things, but others were actively treating me accordingly, and, even worse, treating me as if I was following a path that was directly contrary to God’s will and call to holiness.

There was one such time many years ago when God set the record straight for me. I was being prayed over by some very zealous Christians whom I had been associated with in their community and had found the situation very destructive and not something I could continue to endure anymore. But I had chosen to remain in their church and try to keep fellowship with them. Somehow we ended up, once again, in a prayer session focused on me, and they actually had me on the floor, bent over, with my head curled into my arms and my knees all bent under me.

As their “prayers” continued over my body I withdrew deep into my spirit. God was speaking to me in an incredible way. He was saying that what they were praying was meaningless and irrelevant. What mattered was His calling on my life, and that I must listen to that, listen to His voice only, and ignore these other voices. He would tell me what I was to heed.

And then He sang this song to me, deep within my being. I had learned it several years before, but this time He sang it just for me and it was as if He was saying to me: “These words are for you, Meg, just as they were for Jeremiah when he felt so out of his depth. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry. My plans for your life are what matter, whatever other Christians think of you and whatever they say. What matters is what I say to you.”

This was the song. It is based on the call of Jeremiah from the first chapter of that book of the Old Testament.

Oh the Word of My Lord

Chorus:
O the word of my Lord
Deep within my being
O the word of my Lord
You have filled my mind

Verse 1
Before I formed you in the womb
I knew you through and through
I chose you to be mine
Before you left your mother's side
I called you my child
To be my sign


Verse 2
I know that you are very young
But I will make you strong
I'll fill you with My word
And you will travel through the land
Fulfilling My command
Which you have heard

Verse 3
And ev'rywhere you are to go
My hand will follow you
You will not be alone
In all the danger that you fear
You'll find Me very near
Your words My own

Verse 4
With all My strength
You will be filled
You will destroy and build
For that is My design
You will create and overthrow
Reap harvests I will sow
Your word is Mine

CCLI Song #740510
© 1978 Kevin Mayhew Ltd
Damian Lundy

After that evening I walked freer of the opinions of those Christians, and, while continuing to remain in their church, did not worry about what they thought of me. I continued on my own journey with the Lord, which led me to far greater exploits than they had imagined for me. That journey continues today, and, every so often, when I can get bogged down by worrying about what others think, or wondering about how what is happening in the present moment relates to the big picture God has shown me, I remember that evening on the floor, and God’s song deep within my heart.

I pray that you will be encouraged to hear God’s word for you alone, deep inside of you, today.

joy in sweetening our words

Today as I meditated at work I remembered the words I used to have in a poster above one of my desks at some stage:
"Lord, may my words be sweet, for tomorrow I may have to eat them."

A very valid prayer for me. I was remembering things I said about myself in my job application, that I was slow to anger, and not quick to take offence. I evaluated myself in light of those words and according to many reactions I have had in the last few days. I felt like I had to eat my own words, and consider myself proud and angry and offended about some things and people who seem to be trying to put me down or keep me in place. So I listened to the convicting yet comforting voice of the Holy Spirit within me, counselling me in various ways. I am grateful, joyful even, in a humbled sort of way, that I continue to learn things about myself, continue to be challenged to grow, and to sweeten my words.

I hope tomorrow's words will taste better.

joy in casting all our cares upon Him

Standing at my sorting counter hour upon hour gives me lots of opportunity to think, to pray, and, you guessed it, to worry. My specialty. So I have learned when that happens to sing this sweet chorus. You may already know it:

I cast all my cares upon you;
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet;
Anytime I don't know what I'm to do
I just cast all my cares upon you.

It's so simple, yet it is the only way, for me and for you.

joy in trusting in His faithfulness

This lovely rainy Sunday morning I spoke to old missionary friends in Uganda to check up on arrangements to host and help my daughters in Kampala, the capital city. Everything is in place, and they are looking forward to reconnecting with them, after all these years. Sarah, who is still out there, will be with them after travelling safely with other missionaries I trust up the dangerous highway from the big town where she lives most of the time, since late March, and together they will meet Rachel's plane from Canada via England in the early morning in early August. I am so pleased for Rachel that she will have safe people to help her embark on her reconnection with the land of her childhood, as Sarah had the organization she went out under in March. I have seen God work out each complicated detail for their arrangements, their security, and their comfort. He has been incredibly faithful. Of course I have been in constant prayer for them, and so have others. Nevertheless it is a huge concern to have two daughters flying back and forth across the Atlantic and North Africa in these days of terrorism. I am thrilled for them about this opportunity they have. But I will be so glad when they both are back on terra firma on Sept. 9th.

So, for them, and for me, and for you, I quote these words from my very favourite Brian Doerksen song,
"Your Faithfulness":

Chorus
Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in Your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in Your faithfulness

Verse 1
I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing
Or filled with longed for things
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

Verse 2
I don't know if these clouds mean rain
If they do will they pour down blessing or pain
I don't know what the future holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

Verse 3
I don't know how or when I'll die
Will it be a thief
Or will I have a chance to say good-bye
No I don't know how much time is left
But in the end I will know Your faithfulness

(BRIDGE)
When darkness overwhelms my soul
When thoughts are storms of doubt
Still I trust You are always faithful

Always faithful
CCLI Song #3719091© 2002 Integrity's Hosanna! Music
Brian Doerksen