joy in learning about loving

Hi again - I learned again from writing my own post for http://www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com/. I didn't know what I was going to write on til I began to wrote, nor how I was going to work it out. And so it taught and blessed me to write it. I hope it blesses you too. Here it is:

Learning to Bear the Beams of Love

"And we are put on earth a little space
That we may learn to bear the beams of love."

William Blake Songs of Innocence and Experience

I have always loved these words, ever since I first met them in my class on the Romantic poets in my second year of studying English Literature at university. They were like pools of water in the dry land of cynicism and godlessness among many writers through the centuries. Those words, along with other noble sentiments from some of the few Christian or Christianized poets, playwrights, essayists and novelists that one can find among the pages of history, helped me to hear God's voice when I wasn't regularly feeding on His Word.

But I believe the words themselves are timeless, even for devout Christians. We can struggle, even in our devotion, to discern what life is all about. The cacophony of demands upon our time, the confusion and terror in the global village, the ever increasing war upon our inner peace and joy - all of these add up to one question: What is worth doing?

And in the end I believe we come back to that same place that most people do, whether or not they are Christian. They come back to this timeless truth, that life is all about learning to love and be loved. As Christians we may explore those truths in deep and wider ways as we experience the glory and wonder of God's unconditional love for us, but I imagine, and know for myself, that the challenge is huge in a human sense of just learning to love and continue to love those human beings with whom we have regular contact.

I am often heard to quote this Irish saying:

"To live above with the Saints we love, Ah that is the purest glory;
To live below with the Saints we know, Ah, that is another story."

And I must freely admit that the context for my sharing it has been my own cynicism about other Christians and their attitudes, particularly when I have been hurt and misunderstood by them. So the lesson, the learning for me, of course is most of all about the poverty of my own spirit, my own love, as one of the Saints about whom others might share that saying.

I have been struck by the particularity of love, and the way that God helps us to show it, when we partner with Him in bearing beams of love. We have seen that in the beautiful details of Susan and Brenda's story about their father and their family, in Belinda and Brenda and Robert's caring for their mother, in the details about rubbing backs and sharing breakfast, in waiting for doctors and praying with folded hands. We have heard it before in the struggles for Frank and Ang and Nicky, and all those we pray for, through this blog and in all our private realms.

I recall the amazing way God worked out the details on the last morning of my mother's life. For months I had wondered if she might die when I was at class at seminary in Toronto, when I would be out of town for 24 hours. I didn't consciously pray that I would be present when Mum died, but that was indeed my desire. Mum began to go down quickly a few days before I would go to class, and I had told my professor that I wasn't sure if I would have to miss class one week. But it was hard to make plans each week for transportation and all the rest, as I was using buses in the middle of the night, or rides with a friend. Somehow I made the decision, on March 30th of last year, that I would not take the offered ride and that I would miss my class. My spirit was telling me, as I was learning to bear the beams of love for my mother, which was not easy, that this was such a time. Yet I didn't know how fast it would be. The very next morning I went in to see Mum when I would have been walking in to my class in Toronto. She was already unconscious, and she died in my arms a few hours later. I had time to call my sister and nephew to be with us, and together we watched her cross the threshold into the presence of God and the time at last to live above with the Saints we love. Until the end of my days I will be touched by that beam of love that I was able to bear.

It is always a thrill when we see others learning to bear these beams. We bless Belinda and Susan as they speak for all of us yearning to be there for others, leaning on God's grace. I think we will always feel like beginners in this school, and I guess that is okay, for then it is really not about us, and yet we have the privilege of making beautiful stories out of all kinds of brokenness, in His love.

joy in opportunities to continue to share, from the past and the present

This past week I posted two blogs on the team devotional blog I write for: www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com. My usual day is Saturday, but often I put a draft which can be used any day. So with our administrator away with her ailing mother in England, someone else is watching over the account. I continue to appreciate the wonderful opportunity to share in a way that challenges me to articulate and to examine my own thoughts and feelings, in the light of God's teachings...and to make them public.

Here are my two posts:

No Shortcuts to Fulfilling God's Vision (posted Sunday, March 8th)

I saw Slumdog Millionaire this week. I hadn't planned to; my daughter and I just went on the spur of the moment. It's hard to talk about its impact. Yes, it had a happy ending, but it was a rough fairy tale. For someone who has seen a lot of roughness in Uganda, it was hard for me. I have sat on the floor in front of thugs pointing an AK47 at me and my family. In a sense I have never fully recovered from the trauma of that incident. Yet it was mild in comparison with what goes on every day all over the world: Christian martyrdoms, about 500 a day, terrible tortures, horrendous crimes. Even regarding the production and follow up of this movie there have been concerns about fairness in the treatment of the child stars from the real slums of India. Throughout the movie I kept my head down a lot, not wanting to imprint on my brain scenes of horror and violence.

But above and beyond all that I have to agree that this story is a powerful one about vision. It was the sense of destiny that kept the hero moving ahead against all odds, until he achieved his goal and dream - to be united with the love of his life. His faith and vision ignited faith and vision in her and enabled her to rise to that destiny. The power of that faith spoke to the brother who had the power to help to make it happen, despite his own lack of faith and vision, his own compromise and corruption.

I am excited about the power of vision. If I weren't I wouldn't have applied for and been accepted this past week into a training program to become a professional Christian Life Coach. Life Coaching is about helping others close the gap between their vision for their lives and the realities they live with every day. It is about implanting in others what God has implanted in me, and what I have to ask others to encourage me in, and have to grow in faith about every single day.

Proverbs 29:18 says "Where there is no vision, the people perish." This is so true. We may not perish physically, but we may perish morally, emotionally or spiritually, if we have no vision, and certainly if we do not have God's vision for our lives. And we know that He works with our visions and dreams, the desires of our hearts, and weaves them into the visions for our whole lives. His grace makes Romans 8:28 true every day, and more especially as we move forward very intentionally in obedience to our calling and vision.

But there are no shortcuts. I was reminded of that as I went onto www.biblegateway.com this morning to find the correct reference for that verse. All across the top of the website was a moving ad from a Christian university saying "There are no shortcuts to the fulfillment of God's plans for you." It was a highlighting of my reading for today in the Bible League Devotional Planner: "We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7 And as if God was determined I should never ever forget it, Streams in the Desert for today had these words:

There is no way of learning faith except by trial. It is God's school of faith, and it is far better for us to learn to trust God than to enjoy life...The lesson of faith, once learned, is an everlasting acquisition and an eternal fortune made; and without trust even riches will leave us poor.
(from Days of Heaven on Earth)

The hero of Slumdog Millionaire got the money and the girl. We like him getting the money because he didn't cheat, and he went on the program to win the girl. So the fairy tale rings true as they always do, to teach us universal truths, as this one teaches us about the power of vision. But for those of us who know Jesus Christ, and who have our vision for our lives caught up with Him, we must be willing to pay big prices for the fulfillment of that vision, must accept the hardship of having no shortcuts, and must learn true faith by trial.

As I write my mind is flashing back, visually and audibly, to a scene at a conference a few years ago. Members of a Christian worship band were praying over us. One of them began shouting over me: "FAITH! FAITH!! Woman of FAITH!! You are a great woman of FAITH!! It is FAITH that will change your circumstances!!!!". Well, five years down the road, I can see how faith has changed my circumstances, and brought me further along the road to the fulfilment of my vision, of God's vision for my life. And indeed there have been no shortcuts. And often each day I can still feel like a beginner in the school of faith. But I have a faithful Father, who undergirds me and leads me on, and empowers me with faith, through His Holy Spirit.

And the Lord answered me, and said, "Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie; though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come." ( Habakkuk 2: 2-3)

This is a version of the Lord's prayer that I wrote for a reflection session at our church in May of 2007. It was subsequently published in the church newsletter. It was a very helpful exercise for me, and others, to put my own words and thoughts into the structure of the Lord's Prayer. I could have edited it and made it shorter, but somehow it seems appropriate to share it as I wrote it then. I suggest it as an exercise for you, especially in this season of Lent.

The Lord's Prayer According to Meg (posted Friday, March 6th)

Our Father, who art in Heaven....

Daddy God, my heavenly father, shared with all who live, creator of the universe, father of all, who dwells on high in heaven, as well as in my heart, who dwells in me and in the hearts of all who seek you, who want to be with you now and in heaven,

Hallowed be your name.....

You are holy to me...I call your name holy to all...may I always do so...may I always keep your name holy...may I always call others to do so too...may I see your name hallowed in all the earth, as the day of your coming approaches....

Your kingdom come....

I long to see your kingdom come here on earth...may all that you are and all that you give me and all that comes from you and all that you want to see happen...may it come to pass in every way and place and time...especially in my life, my heart, my home, my relationships, my town, my province, my country....

Your will be done....

I want to do your will...I want to see others do your will...today, and every day...from now on...not my will, but your will...knowing that what you will is best for me and for all, higher and better and truer and freer...even when I don't understand....

On earth, as it is in Heaven....

Here and now...in the future...here on earth...I want to see all that you already see from heaven...all the possibilities and hopes and dreams you have for all of us...that you have had from before our lives began...from before time began...I want to see that happen...may all that I am be available to help that happen....

Give us this day our daily bread.....

Daddy, I ask and trust you for all that I need today, for me and for all your children, all that our bodies, minds and hearts need to grow and become all that you call me and your children to be today and in the days to come....

And forgive us our trespasses....

Daddy God, forgive me and all your children for all that I and we have done and said, all that I and we do and say, all that I and we will do and say today and in the days to come that will go outside of the boundaries you have laid out for me and for your children in our words and actions....

As we forgive those who trespass against us....

I know that we can ask for this forgiveness if we are willing to give it to those who trespass our boundaries, who violate us and abuse us and misunderstand us, and that the more I and we understand our own brokenness and sinfulness and weakness and recognize how unable we are without your power to do what you call us to do in loving others and even ourselves....the more we will be able to accept others in all their weakness and brokenness which causes them to do the things that hurt me and others....

And lead us not into temptation....

Daddy, I need you to order my steps today...to go before me and walk beside me...to lead me into all that you want me to do and be...we all need you to do that...so that we will not stray into situations and relationships that are dangerous to us or to others...so that we will not trespass your boundaries in our thoughts and words and actions....so that we will not get into the kind of trouble that is really of our own making....

But deliver us from evil....

Since you know us so well, Daddy, we can rely on you to see us out of trouble that will come our way, that becomes evil or is already evil, but we ask you anyway to protect us and take us through and out of all that is evil, in situations and in people, in our own thoughts and emotions, because you are faithful and you know we seek to follow you and be all that you want us to be....

For yours is the kingdom...

It's really all about you, Daddy. You set it up and you have your plans...you know the end from the beginning....

The power....

You could do it all for us...for you have awesome, total and unlimited power to do all that you want...after all you created the universe...and you give us your power....you want to use your power in our lives...to be and do all that we need...so that we may be and do all that you need us to do in our lives, in this world....

And the glory....

Your majesty and your glory are unbelievable and beyond description...and you want to bring your glory to pass in our lives....you want to share your glory with us....you want all that we are and do to shine with the witness of your presence...

Forever and ever....

I can't imagine forever but I believe it....that all this is true and always has been and always will be and that you can make it all so...that just as you have been and will be forever so we can be forever with you....

Amen....

So be it, Daddy....may I always believe and know and do all that I have said here...may I mean it more each day...may I always seek to live according to these words...may we live according to your words....your plans...your dreams....and may all that you offer us bring to pass all our words and plans and dreams that you delight in.