joy in seeing clouds from both sides

I've been experiencing, and sharing about, lots of "angst" in my life. Readers have emailed me or made comments on how they have been touched by my honesty and how it has helped them. Of course that blesses me. It is one of the silver linings in the clouds in this season of my life. But most of all I have been growing greatly, not only in my awareness of my humanity and my ability to cope with it, but also of God's power and greatness in my life, His warfare on my behalf, when I am willing to look at things His way, and to TRUST Him. That is my big time learning and walking these days, stepping out in faith and obedience, and trusting His goodness and faithfulness, despite my fears. Of course the more I have done that, the more my adversary has sought to bring his devices against me. And so I have had to delve deeper into my knowledge of the weapons available to me in Christ. That of course has been another silver lining in my clouds, because I have been forced deeper and deeper into my experience not only of my pain and humanity, but also of God's provision and resources available to me. Knowledge has come off the pages of the books I read over the years, off the notes of the seminars I attended. I am dusting off the prophetic words spoken over my life, my destiny, and wedding them with God's promises in His word to all of us. Today's post for www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com is a witness to this work in my heart and spirit. Long may it continue, for me, and for you.

Both Sides Now...and Always

"I've looked at clouds from both sides now"....The familiar strains of Joni Mitchell's famous song filter through my mind, bringing back the vague and dreamy phases of my youthful wonderings, pain and struggle. The 60s began the trend of a refreshing honesty and reality in reflective love songs. Now as I approach my own personal sixties I struggle with the spiritual realities of "clouds" all the time.

There are lots of human truths in her song, but it has always bothered me because it doesn't seem to give much hope. It doesn't give a way through the experience of clouds, except to adopt an "older but wiser" attitude to stuff. That's fine as far as it goes, but it can leave us feeling sad and empty, robbed somehow of the deeper joys of living, and the rewards of facing pain and struggling with it to receive the joy after the tears.

More than that, for those of us who know the reality of living with Jesus Christ within our beings, it can never be enough. Our knowledge of truth goes way beyond it. As well we know the dimension of spiritual warfare, and the continuous assault on our hearts, minds, relationships and circumstances by the adversary of our souls. The three main weapons he uses are all D's: Doubt, Depression and Despair. They come in many forms, but clouds would be an adequate description, it would seem. Not really the clouds that Joni saw, of illusions or delusions, but dark thunderclouds, or relentless grey clouds pouring endless rain, sleet or snow upon our hurting hearts.

But the great thing is that the story does not end here. It is only a beginning. When we have the big picture we can see beyond the clouds; in fact we can see into the clouds, to the "silver lining". But we need our spiritual eyes, the eyes of Jesus living within us, and we need to be armed with the knowledge of the truth about who we are, Whom we belong to, and how to fight our adversary.

Streams in the Desert once again speaks forcefully to our cause:

Get into the habit of looking for the silver lining of the cloud and when you have found it, continue to look at it, rather than at the leaden gray in the middle. Do not yield to discouragement no matter how sorely pressed or beset you may be. A discouraged soul is helpless. ...Flee from every symptom of this deadly foe as you would flee from a viper. And be not slow in turning your back on it, unless you want to bite the dust in bitter defeat.

Search out God's promises and say aloud of each one: "This promise is mine." If you still experience a feeling of doubt and discouragement, pour out your heart to God and ask Him to rebuke the adversary who is so mercilessly nagging you. The very instant you wholeheartedly turn away from every symptom of distrust and discouragement, the blessed Holy Spirit will quicken your faith and inbreathe divine strength into your soul....

Oh, if our eyes could only behold the solid phalanx of strength, of power, that is ever behind every turning away from the hosts of darkness, God-ward, what scant heed would be given to the effort of the wily foe to distress, depress, discourage us!

All the marvelous attributes of the Godhead are on the side of the weakest believer, who in the name of Christ, and in simple, childlike trust, yields himself to God and turns to Him for help and guidance.

Let us now, whenever we are in a cloud, of whatever kind, remember to look at it from both sides.

They looked...and behold, the glory of the Lord appeared in the cloud. (Exodus 16:10)