This is my weekly post for www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com. It was simple to write, and lighter than I have often written. It blessed me especially to be able to use the song I love so much.
Summer - Season of Questions
As I reflect upon the coming summer months, I realize that summer has always been a season of questions for me. Each year as a school girl I had the opportunity to make plans that reflected the questions I asked or was allowed to ask about my life. There was uncharted and unprogrammed time to plan. Even if it was a summer job I had to take I at least could ponder the type of job I wanted or was willing to take. There were many things that I hoped would happen that didn’t in those months, many plans I would have liked to make. The point is that I got to ask some important questions that were key to who I was or wanted to be.
I wouldn’t be sharing this now if I didn’t feel that my experience in some measure has been true for all of us, if not all the time, then at least some of it, if not in summer then at least sometime. But summer can be a metaphor for such a time because we likely don’t have to be so preoccupied with survival, at least weather wise. There is sunshine and a bit of a holiday mood, space really for moving outside of the box of our usual preoccupations and for bringing on board something new and exciting, and time for reflection. Such a season is essential in our lives, and is similar to the day of rest we try to have each week. We step outside our routines and reflect upon the deeper issues of faith, vocation, purpose, and our relationship with our creator and our saviour. We can open our hearts and minds more widely to hear His voice, and realize that the really important questions are the ones He asks us, for, whether or not we listen, they are the only real questions that a Christian has to answer.
For me, I find those questions embodied in a lovely song we often sing at our church. This song means all the more to me because I spent two very significant summers on or near the island of Iona, in Scotland, the home of the Iona community, who copyrighted the new arrangement to the song. The lilting but haunting Scottish traditional tune evokes deep memories of the questions I was asking those summers, and the choices I sought to make for my life. It was not an easy time, but I am grateful for all that I learned. My prayer for all of us this coming “summer” is that we would each be open to the essential questions God is asking us about our lives, and that we would have the courage to answer them.
Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?
Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?
Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?
Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?
Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.
Text: John L. Bell b.1949; Tune: Scottish traditional: Kelvingrove ;
Graham Maule.© 1987, Wild Goose Resource Group, Iona Community, GIA Publications, Inc.
June 06, 2009
May 30, 2009
joy in growth in listening and learning
Each week I try to find something timely and timeless to say for my Saturday blog post for www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com. And each week the simplest place to write from seems to be from my own brokenness for that is the place of growth and healing for me, and so I trust it must be so for others. This week has felt like I didn't have a lot to say...I am tired and have lots to do and lots more to learn...but the fruits of last week's sharing prompted an email from a blog reader leading to more helpful thoughts to share, and connect with past learning. And so it goes on, as life does, getting simpler in more and more ways. Here it is:
Leading with our ears
Another week of ruminating on how to connect with others in helping ways. Another week of pondering the connection between suffering and sustenance for our souls. Another week of visioning for a future profession and ministry: how to be a life coach and one day a counsellor/therapist coming from an authentic place within myself.
In this process I have been joined by a blog reader who does her own writing, research and ruminating on similar subjects. This week she shared some powerful words from Larry Crabb's book, Soul Talk. :
Crabb's message is the key to this process is to experience and function out of our own brokenness. We don't need to become superhuman and expert, we just need to come alongside and be human and listening to the hearts of others, and sharing as we are led once we have permission to look in on their stories.
I recall a similar message in one of our texts for the foundational course in Christian counselling, William Kirwan's Biblical Concepts for Christian Counseling. He bemoaned the lack of empathy, genuineness and warmth in much Christian counselling, the prevalence of Job's counsellors who label people's issues and say "There you are!" instead of asking, like God in the garden asked Adam and Eve, "Where are you?". He urged us to ask the right questions and listen for the true answers about where people are, allow them to speak for themselves and be part of the process of solving their own problems:
Furthermore, as my blog reader friend Magda said so well, we need our wounds to help us become better healers and helpers: "The wounded heart listens differently than the person who has never experienced pain, either in reality or through denial."
We do not need to be afraid of suffering, of wounds, or of not having the answers for others. We just need to come to others in our own brokenness, with our wounded hearts and Christ's open wounded hands, and open our ears before we open our mouths.
Leading with our ears
Another week of ruminating on how to connect with others in helping ways. Another week of pondering the connection between suffering and sustenance for our souls. Another week of visioning for a future profession and ministry: how to be a life coach and one day a counsellor/therapist coming from an authentic place within myself.
In this process I have been joined by a blog reader who does her own writing, research and ruminating on similar subjects. This week she shared some powerful words from Larry Crabb's book, Soul Talk. :
Every person who relates with people - whether as coach, counselor, spiritual director, therapist, pastor, elder, caregiver, spouse, parent, friend or mentor - needs to speak Soul Talk. And that means we must stop talking so quickly out of what we think we know and learn to lead with our ears...If we learn the discipline of silence as we engage in conversation and think passion as we quietly listen, perhaps we'll spend less energy figuring out what to do as experts and more energy allowing the powerful life of Christ to surface within us and be released in the words we speak. We'll leave behind the sandy foundation of expert knowledge and savvy wisdom and build instead on the solid rock of divine energy, on the foundation of life with the Trinity.
Crabb's message is the key to this process is to experience and function out of our own brokenness. We don't need to become superhuman and expert, we just need to come alongside and be human and listening to the hearts of others, and sharing as we are led once we have permission to look in on their stories.
I recall a similar message in one of our texts for the foundational course in Christian counselling, William Kirwan's Biblical Concepts for Christian Counseling. He bemoaned the lack of empathy, genuineness and warmth in much Christian counselling, the prevalence of Job's counsellors who label people's issues and say "There you are!" instead of asking, like God in the garden asked Adam and Eve, "Where are you?". He urged us to ask the right questions and listen for the true answers about where people are, allow them to speak for themselves and be part of the process of solving their own problems:
Good listening helps to keep the counselor's responses close to the counselee's feelings and experiences, permitting corrections of any misunderstanding the counselor may have. The active listener is open to being corrected. When answering the counselor's question, "Where are you?" the counselee must have the freedom to correct any misapprehensions by saying, "No, not there; I am over here." Often such freedom is not allowed in Christian counseling. The counselee's problems are forced into preconceived molds or categories. The theological points made by the counselor may be accurate, precise, and even profound, but they still may not fit the counselee's problems. If the counselor is to know the right doctrine to apply (as Jesus always did), it is essential to understand exactly where the counselee is. (p. 140)
Furthermore, as my blog reader friend Magda said so well, we need our wounds to help us become better healers and helpers: "The wounded heart listens differently than the person who has never experienced pain, either in reality or through denial."
We do not need to be afraid of suffering, of wounds, or of not having the answers for others. We just need to come to others in our own brokenness, with our wounded hearts and Christ's open wounded hands, and open our ears before we open our mouths.
May 23, 2009
joy in connecting my future work with all that I learn each day
Once again I have the privilege this week of sharing about some new learning of my own. My weekly blog post for the team blog, www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com, is attached here, with the message that is on my heart for this week, born out of reading I have been doing, that has also been directly relevant to my own inner journey, and to the plans and training I am doing for future work. I hope it is helpful to you.
Placing a "higher value" on suffering
I have never forgotten her words, spoken softly but firmly as she taught our teleconference class in Christian life coaching. That was back in April of this year, the first month of my wonderful training. My classmates from Singapore, Alaska, Colorado, Georgia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts and more places, and I, from Muskoka, Ontario, listened and engaged through the long distance phone lines and dutifully took our notes about the differences between regular and Christian life coaching. The main difference that stood out for me was encased in her words: "We place a higher value on suffering."
Those words were in some ways a truism for me, a "duh". Okay, so we get it. We Christians know all about suffering and its value, I guess, or are supposed to. But in this day and age of the prosperity gospel, the wonderings about whether we are doing something wrong if we have difficulties, we need to be told that. Especially in the world of life coaching. For that is where we are trained to help others to fulfill long dormant dreams, to live their best life, to be the person they have always wanted to be, to move forward in spite of the obstacles and negative mindsets that may have plagued them all their lives.
A.B. Simpson is quoted in Streams in the Desert (where else? This little book is jampacked with big truths about learning through suffering):
Trials and hard places are needed to press us forward, even as the furnace fires in the hold of that mighty ship give force that moves the piston, drives the engine, and propels that great vessel across the sea in the face of the winds and the waves.
It's not just about enduring suffering and growing from it...it's about its necessity in the Christian life. And so its necessity in Christian life coaching.
Another aspect of this theme is given by Thomas Moore about depression in his book, Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life, and his chapter called "Gifts of Depression":
Maybe we could appreciate the role of depression in the economy of the soul more if we could only take away the negative connotations of the word. What if 'depression' were simply a state of being, neither good nor bad, something the soul does in its own good time and for its own good reasons?
Depression grants the gift of experience not as a literal fact but as an attitude toward yourself. You get a sense of having lived through something, of being older and wiser. You know that life is suffering, and that knowledge makes a difference. You can't enjoy the bouncy, carefree innocence of youth any longer, a realization that entails both sadness because of the loss, and pleasure in a new feeling of self-acceptance and self-knowledge. This awareness of age has a halo of melancholy around it, but it also enjoys a measure of nobility.
It really is possible, at every level, to rejoice in our trials and our sadness. Not only can they produce great inner growth and push us forward to better achieve our goals and dreams, but they can even provide a satisfaction in themselves, a quiet knowledge of God's presence in them, and of our greater awareness of our own companionship, with Him, and with ourselves.
I am so deeply grateful that when I develop my Christian life coaching business I can incorporate all levels of experience, my own in my understanding, and all that my clients will be going through. I will not be coaching them to get out of their depression, or get past the difficulties in their lives, but I will have the privilege of being with them in the midst of them, encouraging them to place a high value on them, and receive all that is possible from and through them. This then can be part of the abundant living that we are promised.
Placing a "higher value" on suffering
I have never forgotten her words, spoken softly but firmly as she taught our teleconference class in Christian life coaching. That was back in April of this year, the first month of my wonderful training. My classmates from Singapore, Alaska, Colorado, Georgia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts and more places, and I, from Muskoka, Ontario, listened and engaged through the long distance phone lines and dutifully took our notes about the differences between regular and Christian life coaching. The main difference that stood out for me was encased in her words: "We place a higher value on suffering."
Those words were in some ways a truism for me, a "duh". Okay, so we get it. We Christians know all about suffering and its value, I guess, or are supposed to. But in this day and age of the prosperity gospel, the wonderings about whether we are doing something wrong if we have difficulties, we need to be told that. Especially in the world of life coaching. For that is where we are trained to help others to fulfill long dormant dreams, to live their best life, to be the person they have always wanted to be, to move forward in spite of the obstacles and negative mindsets that may have plagued them all their lives.
A.B. Simpson is quoted in Streams in the Desert (where else? This little book is jampacked with big truths about learning through suffering):
Trials and hard places are needed to press us forward, even as the furnace fires in the hold of that mighty ship give force that moves the piston, drives the engine, and propels that great vessel across the sea in the face of the winds and the waves.
It's not just about enduring suffering and growing from it...it's about its necessity in the Christian life. And so its necessity in Christian life coaching.
Another aspect of this theme is given by Thomas Moore about depression in his book, Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life, and his chapter called "Gifts of Depression":
Maybe we could appreciate the role of depression in the economy of the soul more if we could only take away the negative connotations of the word. What if 'depression' were simply a state of being, neither good nor bad, something the soul does in its own good time and for its own good reasons?
Depression grants the gift of experience not as a literal fact but as an attitude toward yourself. You get a sense of having lived through something, of being older and wiser. You know that life is suffering, and that knowledge makes a difference. You can't enjoy the bouncy, carefree innocence of youth any longer, a realization that entails both sadness because of the loss, and pleasure in a new feeling of self-acceptance and self-knowledge. This awareness of age has a halo of melancholy around it, but it also enjoys a measure of nobility.
It really is possible, at every level, to rejoice in our trials and our sadness. Not only can they produce great inner growth and push us forward to better achieve our goals and dreams, but they can even provide a satisfaction in themselves, a quiet knowledge of God's presence in them, and of our greater awareness of our own companionship, with Him, and with ourselves.
I am so deeply grateful that when I develop my Christian life coaching business I can incorporate all levels of experience, my own in my understanding, and all that my clients will be going through. I will not be coaching them to get out of their depression, or get past the difficulties in their lives, but I will have the privilege of being with them in the midst of them, encouraging them to place a high value on them, and receive all that is possible from and through them. This then can be part of the abundant living that we are promised.
May 16, 2009
joy in being challenged in my humanity
This is my latest post for my regular Saturday contribution to www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com. It was satisfying to discover what I wanted to write about, and to do it. It is fresh for me.
"All That Is Here Are Humans"
This week I was helping my daughter with a class presentation about the effectiveness of UN Peacekeeping in the world. One of our sources was Romeo Dallaire's book, Shake Hands With the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda ,his account of the genocide in Rwanda in the 1990's when he was in charge of the ineffective UN force at that time. What he experienced and witnessed drove him into despair and madness for a time, and through his faith and therapy and the faithful love of his wife, he came back to sanity and health and is a powerful voice in the world today against the hypocrisy of many policies of our western governments.
I was riveted by something he said in the introduction:
Engraved still in my brain is the judgment of a small group of bureaucrats who came to "assess" the situation in the first weeks of the genocide: " We will recommend to our government not to intervene as the risks are high and all that is here are humans".
Besides the rage I feel along with him at "man's inhumanity to man", and the unspeakable evil that was unleashed in those few weeks, I ponder these words in the wider context of all that we and I do in so many contexts each day.
All that is here are humans.
All that is here are humans.
What does it really mean to say that?
How many times do we say that in one way or another to ourselves, or in our actions or our inaction?
How many times do we refuse to take risks, to move out of our comfort zones, in order to help others in their "humanity"?
How many times do I demean my own humanity, and that of another, a friend even, by not being willing to risk my reputation, my pride, my comfort, in order to reach out to them?
I find I have to ask myself this question more, rather than less, as I move on in my Christian life. I am struck more each day by the judgmentalism of Christians, and my own judgments, not only of others, but of myself.
I feel I have many more new levels to explore in my spiritual journey. After more than 40 years on this journey, I often feel I have only begun. I am more and more grateful for the new challenges God is bringing into my life: study and work in the areas of coaching and counselling, which really means learning, growing, and giving (and of course receiving) in the arenas of validating personhood and giving life.
But I know that what matters to Him, and really to me and my growth, is what is going on inside me. As I seek to grow to be more like Him, am I becoming more human? He became fully human. So it is completely spiritually "logical" that growing in Him means growing in my humanity. How often do we or I think that way? Even to ask myself that question in this way seems new for me.
I need to remember this every day: All that is here are humans. Then I need to decide what I am called to do because of that.
"All That Is Here Are Humans"
This week I was helping my daughter with a class presentation about the effectiveness of UN Peacekeeping in the world. One of our sources was Romeo Dallaire's book, Shake Hands With the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda ,his account of the genocide in Rwanda in the 1990's when he was in charge of the ineffective UN force at that time. What he experienced and witnessed drove him into despair and madness for a time, and through his faith and therapy and the faithful love of his wife, he came back to sanity and health and is a powerful voice in the world today against the hypocrisy of many policies of our western governments.
I was riveted by something he said in the introduction:
Engraved still in my brain is the judgment of a small group of bureaucrats who came to "assess" the situation in the first weeks of the genocide: " We will recommend to our government not to intervene as the risks are high and all that is here are humans".
Besides the rage I feel along with him at "man's inhumanity to man", and the unspeakable evil that was unleashed in those few weeks, I ponder these words in the wider context of all that we and I do in so many contexts each day.
All that is here are humans.
All that is here are humans.
What does it really mean to say that?
How many times do we say that in one way or another to ourselves, or in our actions or our inaction?
How many times do we refuse to take risks, to move out of our comfort zones, in order to help others in their "humanity"?
How many times do I demean my own humanity, and that of another, a friend even, by not being willing to risk my reputation, my pride, my comfort, in order to reach out to them?
I find I have to ask myself this question more, rather than less, as I move on in my Christian life. I am struck more each day by the judgmentalism of Christians, and my own judgments, not only of others, but of myself.
I feel I have many more new levels to explore in my spiritual journey. After more than 40 years on this journey, I often feel I have only begun. I am more and more grateful for the new challenges God is bringing into my life: study and work in the areas of coaching and counselling, which really means learning, growing, and giving (and of course receiving) in the arenas of validating personhood and giving life.
But I know that what matters to Him, and really to me and my growth, is what is going on inside me. As I seek to grow to be more like Him, am I becoming more human? He became fully human. So it is completely spiritually "logical" that growing in Him means growing in my humanity. How often do we or I think that way? Even to ask myself that question in this way seems new for me.
I need to remember this every day: All that is here are humans. Then I need to decide what I am called to do because of that.
May 02, 2009
joy in facing more spiritual challenges
God sure must have great things in store for me because He keeps blessing me with more and more emotional hardship. The stronger I become, the more challenges I face, within myself and in relationships. It just never seems to end. And when sickness comes along with all its lessons, the challenges grow ever greater. If I did not love and trust my Saviour so, I would give up, and throw in the towel, and say it is not worth going through all this pain, again and again. But I trust my Lord is faithful, and He knows what He is doing, and He is trying to teach me "how to bear the beams of love" with greater humility, awareness, and grace. His grace. These are the main lessons for this past week, written for my regular Saturday blog post for www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com.
Daily Bread for the Three D's
We can only cruise so long before the crash comes, if we don't take care of ourselves. It's usually my mother heart that does that to me, and as we have seen in my last two blog posts, God has blessed me in my journeys on behalf of my daughter's goals. But still my body has had the bigger say over my heart. I have a cold I can't shake easily and it is so frustrating. Whatever is bothering me bothers me even more, whatever is hard is extra hard, and so I could go on. It is easy to go into the darkness when you are sick, and frustrated. The three D's come up trumps if I don't defeat them: Doubt, Discouragement and Despair.
As I have listened to my heart this week and observed my moods closely, I have realized with horror how easily I could give up on my dreams and God's promises. I am grateful for these words that jumped off the page from Streams in the Desert on April 30th, in the midst of my darkness:
And the ill-favoured and lean-fleshed kine did eat up the seven well favored and fat kine...and the seven thin ears devoured the seven rank and full ears. (Gen.: 41: 4,7)
I was amazed and arrested at the following interpretation of this passage:
From Messages for the Morning Watch
Daily Bread for the Three D's
We can only cruise so long before the crash comes, if we don't take care of ourselves. It's usually my mother heart that does that to me, and as we have seen in my last two blog posts, God has blessed me in my journeys on behalf of my daughter's goals. But still my body has had the bigger say over my heart. I have a cold I can't shake easily and it is so frustrating. Whatever is bothering me bothers me even more, whatever is hard is extra hard, and so I could go on. It is easy to go into the darkness when you are sick, and frustrated. The three D's come up trumps if I don't defeat them: Doubt, Discouragement and Despair.
As I have listened to my heart this week and observed my moods closely, I have realized with horror how easily I could give up on my dreams and God's promises. I am grateful for these words that jumped off the page from Streams in the Desert on April 30th, in the midst of my darkness:
And the ill-favoured and lean-fleshed kine did eat up the seven well favored and fat kine...and the seven thin ears devoured the seven rank and full ears. (Gen.: 41: 4,7)
I was amazed and arrested at the following interpretation of this passage:
There is a warning for us in that dream, just as it stands: It is possible for the best years of our life, the best experiences, the best victories won, the best service rendered, to be swallowed up by times of failure, defeat, dishonor, uselessness in the kingdom. Some men's lives of rare promise and rare achievement have ended so. It is awful to think of, but it is true. Yet it is never necessary.
S.D. Gordon has said that the only assurance of safety against this tragedy is "fresh touch with God", daily, hourly. The blessed, fruitful, victorious experiences of yesterday are not only of no value to me today, but they will actually be eaten up or reversed by today's failures, unless they serve as incentives to still better, richer experiences today.
"Fresh touch with God," by abiding in Christ, alone will keep the lean kine and the ill-favored grain out of my life.
From Messages for the Morning Watch
April 25, 2009
joy in finding God's faithfulness again
This is my post for today on www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com. It continues the story from last week, of my visit to Missionfest Toronto and what God did for me there. It is a lovely story, another example of His continuing faithfulness to me in my life, whatever my struggles and wonderings.
More Than Enough For Me
Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
Psalm 37:5
He who promised is faithful.
Hebrew 10:23b
Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?
Numbers 23:19b
Some of you who read my post last Saturday will remember that I went to Missionfest Toronto, primarily to make it possible for my daughter and her friend to hear an inspiring speaker. I wondered what God might have for me, the ex-missionary, the Life Coach/Counsellor-in-training, and how I would react again to the big splash of Missionfest this time, in the context of my experience of it over many years since its beginnings out west, which I shared in with my husband in our earlier life as missionaries.
Well, I still struggled with the feeling of Missionfest being like just another big trade fair in a huge facility on the outskirts of Toronto. I didn't like the darkened auditorium in the middle of the day to hear a worship band that was way louder than necessary, and I was concerned at the fervency that didn't seem to be there anymore in the atmosphere. I missed the excitement and hubbub of activity and spontaneity of earlier years, and I noticed the numbers of booths seemed reduced, as well as those who attended.
Nevertheless I was blessed, as always, by Brian Doerksen in concert, a Christian worship leader/songwriter whose faithfulness, personal testimony and sacrifice have always impressed me, not to mention the anointing on his music, simple as it is. My daughter and her friend were not disappointed in Shane Claiborne, the speaker they had come for, and talked about his message for the rest of the weekend. They found the information they wanted from YWAM (Youth With a Mission) and Urban Promise. Other friends we bumped into were excited by words and resources that blessed them for their upcoming mission trip. We shook hands with Michael Coren and chatted candidly with him about current issues on his program, and I spoke to several colleagues of my husband's from days gone by.
My friend and I managed to make it into the latter part of the Women's Forum, and appreciated the affirming and solid, although familiar teaching. I wondered what God might do about the new directions in my life. I was not to be disappointed. As we were instructed to join in threes to be prayed for by the speaker and each other,one of the hosts at the back table came over and joined us. After we prayed she asked me if I was a teacher, sensing something in the way I prayed for her. The conversation opened up, and we discovered we had both been missionaries in East Africa. She is more recently returned and going through some of the struggles I have wrestled with since our return eight years ago.
When she saw Life Coaching on my card, we talked about making a probono arrangement where I would coach her for free in this transition phase and she would help me by being my client as I am in training! I had been thinking that coaching returned missionary women could be one coaching niche for me. So here I am now, one phone coaching session already done, and another one going on in person in Toronto as you read this. God is so organized!! Instead of me worrying about how to try out clients, He hands me my first one - a very lovely lady,confirming my conviction that my being and doing are interconnected in this new "ex-missionary" phase of my life. This gift felt like a firstfruits of His promise to me of faithfulness of leading me into a whole new life ahead of me, of which Life Coaching and counselling are a part.
That made my day, but it was only noon, and we planned to stay around a while, so we went to one workshop, on Arts and Mission. When I found it was about a TV type video website I wondered what it would have to do with me. The founders and organizers of Images of You TV (www.ImagesofU.TV) were very professional and courteous as they shared about how they promote mission and Christian events through their TV style website. ...and then I found an inspiration forming right there in my head - I asked pertinent questions in the session and afterwards..and...lo and behold: a vision for a future video section of my business website to share voices and stories from Africa...beginning with my husband's return trip there this summer - an opportunity to honour him and his life's work, and my many friends, Ugandan and missionary, who are still there. As if that was not exciting enough, the organizer overheard my discussion with the other volunteer workers and said she wants to do a story on Jim and his past work and trip when he comes back. God is opening up a new way to use my experience as a missionary, to bless what I have been and known, and to find new ways to bless those with whom so much of my big story of missionary life has been connected.
I had stepped out in obedience to make something happen for my daughter. God met me where I was, in transition between the past and the future, and danced in the present with me. Regardless of atmosphere or lack of it, my own kind of cynicism or preparation for disappointment, He showed His faithfulness to me and to the promises He has given me, in the past and the present, for the future.
There was more than enough for me, in a quiet and yet satisfying way, at Missionfest. I am reminded again that it's not about the event, and never is; it's about God and what He can do when we trust Him and believe His promises to us. We move out in our sailing craft on to the open sea, and then we open His sealed orders.
More Than Enough For Me
Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
Psalm 37:5
He who promised is faithful.
Hebrew 10:23b
Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?
Numbers 23:19b
Some of you who read my post last Saturday will remember that I went to Missionfest Toronto, primarily to make it possible for my daughter and her friend to hear an inspiring speaker. I wondered what God might have for me, the ex-missionary, the Life Coach/Counsellor-in-training, and how I would react again to the big splash of Missionfest this time, in the context of my experience of it over many years since its beginnings out west, which I shared in with my husband in our earlier life as missionaries.
Well, I still struggled with the feeling of Missionfest being like just another big trade fair in a huge facility on the outskirts of Toronto. I didn't like the darkened auditorium in the middle of the day to hear a worship band that was way louder than necessary, and I was concerned at the fervency that didn't seem to be there anymore in the atmosphere. I missed the excitement and hubbub of activity and spontaneity of earlier years, and I noticed the numbers of booths seemed reduced, as well as those who attended.
Nevertheless I was blessed, as always, by Brian Doerksen in concert, a Christian worship leader/songwriter whose faithfulness, personal testimony and sacrifice have always impressed me, not to mention the anointing on his music, simple as it is. My daughter and her friend were not disappointed in Shane Claiborne, the speaker they had come for, and talked about his message for the rest of the weekend. They found the information they wanted from YWAM (Youth With a Mission) and Urban Promise. Other friends we bumped into were excited by words and resources that blessed them for their upcoming mission trip. We shook hands with Michael Coren and chatted candidly with him about current issues on his program, and I spoke to several colleagues of my husband's from days gone by.
My friend and I managed to make it into the latter part of the Women's Forum, and appreciated the affirming and solid, although familiar teaching. I wondered what God might do about the new directions in my life. I was not to be disappointed. As we were instructed to join in threes to be prayed for by the speaker and each other,one of the hosts at the back table came over and joined us. After we prayed she asked me if I was a teacher, sensing something in the way I prayed for her. The conversation opened up, and we discovered we had both been missionaries in East Africa. She is more recently returned and going through some of the struggles I have wrestled with since our return eight years ago.
When she saw Life Coaching on my card, we talked about making a probono arrangement where I would coach her for free in this transition phase and she would help me by being my client as I am in training! I had been thinking that coaching returned missionary women could be one coaching niche for me. So here I am now, one phone coaching session already done, and another one going on in person in Toronto as you read this. God is so organized!! Instead of me worrying about how to try out clients, He hands me my first one - a very lovely lady,confirming my conviction that my being and doing are interconnected in this new "ex-missionary" phase of my life. This gift felt like a firstfruits of His promise to me of faithfulness of leading me into a whole new life ahead of me, of which Life Coaching and counselling are a part.
That made my day, but it was only noon, and we planned to stay around a while, so we went to one workshop, on Arts and Mission. When I found it was about a TV type video website I wondered what it would have to do with me. The founders and organizers of Images of You TV (www.ImagesofU.TV) were very professional and courteous as they shared about how they promote mission and Christian events through their TV style website. ...and then I found an inspiration forming right there in my head - I asked pertinent questions in the session and afterwards..and...lo and behold: a vision for a future video section of my business website to share voices and stories from Africa...beginning with my husband's return trip there this summer - an opportunity to honour him and his life's work, and my many friends, Ugandan and missionary, who are still there. As if that was not exciting enough, the organizer overheard my discussion with the other volunteer workers and said she wants to do a story on Jim and his past work and trip when he comes back. God is opening up a new way to use my experience as a missionary, to bless what I have been and known, and to find new ways to bless those with whom so much of my big story of missionary life has been connected.
I had stepped out in obedience to make something happen for my daughter. God met me where I was, in transition between the past and the future, and danced in the present with me. Regardless of atmosphere or lack of it, my own kind of cynicism or preparation for disappointment, He showed His faithfulness to me and to the promises He has given me, in the past and the present, for the future.
There was more than enough for me, in a quiet and yet satisfying way, at Missionfest. I am reminded again that it's not about the event, and never is; it's about God and what He can do when we trust Him and believe His promises to us. We move out in our sailing craft on to the open sea, and then we open His sealed orders.
April 18, 2009
joy in doing an old thing a new way
I've enjoyed reflecting on this latest jaunt to the big metropolis of Toronto out of Muskoka's wilds! It's nice to have a change and a break, and see how others live, and once again rejoice that I can return to a "simpler life". As my reflection for www.whateverhesays.blogspot.com shows, I am approaching this Missionfest in a new relaxed way, not hyped up the way I used to be, and not apologetic about my new way of walking through my Christian life. I look forward to sharing how it was when I write again next week.
Sealed Orders
As you read this I will be moving around Missionfest Toronto, milling with the crowds at the hundreds of booths of mission societies and Christian organizations. We will be well provided for at a beautiful facility near the airport, with all the latest "mod cons" as my Brit friends would have said. When the time comes my daughter, her friend, my friend and I will attend workshops of our choosing or cram in to hear the next famous plenary speaker or worship artist. All the info we could possibly need about it, and much more, will be in a glossy program handed to us in our first moments. An amazing way to be with the rich to learn about how to serve the poor, either in money or in faith.
I hearken back over twenty years to Missionfest Vancouver, held in the gymnasium of Burnaby Christian Fellowship. We were newlyweds, staffing our booth for ACTS, Africa Community Technical Service, the small mission my husband founded and ran, overhead and salary free, out of the basement of his home in North Vancouver. It was in the early heady days of missions finding their voice in the mainline body of Christ. We were taking courses on being a World Christian, and giving talks about our work with cut and pasted newsletters, home made displays and African artifacts. Our tiny children bounced around as I taught action songs to Sunday school groups like "I am a House of Prayer". Ah, those were the days. I knew who I was, and what to do. Life was busy and exciting. We were missionaries who had a message, whether sitting at a booth at Missionfest or talking in a church or writing up the latest info on our doings in a newsletter. I used to say that it was much more fulfilling and uplifting to be part of Missionfests than to go to "charismatic" conferences.
Now I visit so my daughter and her friend can hear a wonderful speaker espousing a simple life, Shane Claiborne, a guy who often gets sent away from churches because of his clothes, until he tells them he's their guest speaker. I wonder what else will be relevant to my life? I am excited that Missionfest has come this long way in those twenty plus years. Or am I? What does it say about the western church that this vision has been enriched and fulfilled over and over again, even if it is held in a posh place in a big city? I suppose that is the way things happen here in North America. And if it results in people making important choices to support various mission efforts or answer a "call" to the "mission field", then I guess it will have fulfilled its mission.
Well,I'll wait to tell you next week how it was. I am sure God will have some precious moments for me, whatever their content. He will continue His journey with me, walking me through my life with His "sealed orders". One thing I know for sure now, although it has taken some time to get there: I don't need to apologize for not being a "missionary" any more. I don't need to prove my human "doing". My human "being" is enough for my life in Christ, and enough for me.
This is thy work, these are thy possibilities; contentment to sail with sealed orders, because of unwavering confidence in the wisdom of the Lord High Admiral.
F.B.M. (April 16 in Streams in the Desert)
Sealed Orders
As you read this I will be moving around Missionfest Toronto, milling with the crowds at the hundreds of booths of mission societies and Christian organizations. We will be well provided for at a beautiful facility near the airport, with all the latest "mod cons" as my Brit friends would have said. When the time comes my daughter, her friend, my friend and I will attend workshops of our choosing or cram in to hear the next famous plenary speaker or worship artist. All the info we could possibly need about it, and much more, will be in a glossy program handed to us in our first moments. An amazing way to be with the rich to learn about how to serve the poor, either in money or in faith.
I hearken back over twenty years to Missionfest Vancouver, held in the gymnasium of Burnaby Christian Fellowship. We were newlyweds, staffing our booth for ACTS, Africa Community Technical Service, the small mission my husband founded and ran, overhead and salary free, out of the basement of his home in North Vancouver. It was in the early heady days of missions finding their voice in the mainline body of Christ. We were taking courses on being a World Christian, and giving talks about our work with cut and pasted newsletters, home made displays and African artifacts. Our tiny children bounced around as I taught action songs to Sunday school groups like "I am a House of Prayer". Ah, those were the days. I knew who I was, and what to do. Life was busy and exciting. We were missionaries who had a message, whether sitting at a booth at Missionfest or talking in a church or writing up the latest info on our doings in a newsletter. I used to say that it was much more fulfilling and uplifting to be part of Missionfests than to go to "charismatic" conferences.
Now I visit so my daughter and her friend can hear a wonderful speaker espousing a simple life, Shane Claiborne, a guy who often gets sent away from churches because of his clothes, until he tells them he's their guest speaker. I wonder what else will be relevant to my life? I am excited that Missionfest has come this long way in those twenty plus years. Or am I? What does it say about the western church that this vision has been enriched and fulfilled over and over again, even if it is held in a posh place in a big city? I suppose that is the way things happen here in North America. And if it results in people making important choices to support various mission efforts or answer a "call" to the "mission field", then I guess it will have fulfilled its mission.
Well,I'll wait to tell you next week how it was. I am sure God will have some precious moments for me, whatever their content. He will continue His journey with me, walking me through my life with His "sealed orders". One thing I know for sure now, although it has taken some time to get there: I don't need to apologize for not being a "missionary" any more. I don't need to prove my human "doing". My human "being" is enough for my life in Christ, and enough for me.
This is thy work, these are thy possibilities; contentment to sail with sealed orders, because of unwavering confidence in the wisdom of the Lord High Admiral.
F.B.M. (April 16 in Streams in the Desert)
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