joy in hearts both frightened and free

"All that we have, and all that we offer, comes from a heart both frightened and free". These words from the chorus of a song we sang at the Catholic Faith Day last Friday were ringing in my head as I woke up this morning. They had touched me deeply during that service and reminded of me of so many songs out of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal that spoke to me deeply in the seventies when I was part of that movement in Scotland during my growth into a deeper faith in Christ, before I rejoined the Anglican church. (Although I had been a Christian for many years by that time, I had been disillusioned for a time and had a private journey through various denominations.)

But today these words remind me again of my orientation to life these days, and all my life. Yes, I am excited about all that God is doing in me, and my life, and what He enables me to do for others. Yes, I am free in Him, and in so many ways that others have not yet found to be free, and I rejoice deeply in that. But yes, I am frightened by so much of what life dishes out to all of us. And I am helping others who are too. The university fair was a great opportunity for my girls to look at options out there and try to figure out what they want to do for further study. My own experiences have value to help them as well. We drove to and from Toronto, all through that overwhelming city, through many frightening possibly dangerous scenarios, and came home safely again. We spent time with a delightful friend who finds life frightening and overwhelming in many ways, and yet is also free in Christ in her spirit.

This is our human condition as Christians. We are both frightened and free, and yet can offer ourselves fully to God and to others, in that state, and rejoice in accepting ourselves and being accepted that way by Him. We don't have to be perfect in faith, or perfect in composure. We can be real and honest about how we are, as He knows our hearts anyway. How lovely that modern songwriters can express that for us.