August 03, 2008
joy in new understanding of spiritual truths
This is a season of discovery and rediscovery. Perhaps it is so for all of us throughout life. Sharp moments of revelation come and go. Today I am doing final packing with Rachel and final notes to friends in Uganda. I have already spoken with Sarah who is safely with missionary friends in Kampala waiting to meet Rachel with them in less than two days' time. I awoke remembering the hinds' feet that Hannah Hurnard elucidated in her book Hinds' Feet in High Places and mused upon that truth in my life. So much of my life is like a journey up a mountain, and there are many hard and confusing places. In fact, they can seem never ending and ever wearying. I reconnected in my heart and mind with the combination of our Lord leading me ever onward and upward, and also following my heart, connecting in deeper ways with the experience of loving my daughters as I let them go more and more. Sometimes it seems as if my heart strings will break with the weight and tension of love. Yet it seems that the truth of the hinds' feet is about being able to bear those burdens lightly. And I think back to my musing upon yokes. I search among my secondhand books, a reclaimed library mostly from the thrift store after we left so much behind in Uganda. Do I have Hannah's book? I find her sequel, Mountains of Spices, and there read about the Law of Love and feel comforted and connected again. This is territory I understand. I am living it ever more each day. And God is with me, and I am with Him, and together we are climbing the mountains.
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2 comments:
How I feel "with you" Meg, in your partings.
I grew up saying goodbye over and over to people I loved. In the end I learned to say, "Tot siens," rather than "goodbye;" it is Dutch for "Until we see one another again."
When I left for Canada as a young bride of 19, my mother had a lump in her throat that wouldn't go away for days. She always said to me, "As long as you are happy, darling, I'll be happy," and it was only years later that I learned what sacrificial words they were. She never made me feel guilty, but let me go freely, which is probably why I travel back to England twice a year now, forty years later, just to be with her. I love her so much.
What comforting words, Belinda. Thank you so much for sharing from your own experience, also.
Yes, this is a strange time. When Sarah went, she had friends to travel with. Rachel is alone for this leg of the journey. It is good she has needed me, but it accentuates the parting even more.
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