joy in feeling at home

Today we ate Chinese takeout at a table overlooking Georgian Bay in a neighbouring town in Muskoka. It was a beautiful late afternoon, the last outing for us as a family with Rachel before her departure for Uganda in two days. We talked of places we had lived and loved, and our feelings about now living in Muskoka. As I looked at the coastline I reminisced about living in Scotland and B.C. with my husband's memories thrown in, and Rachel's questions and dreams. I realized how many times I had sat in lovely places like that and felt so lonely and rootless. It was so good to be enjoying that lovely place, savouring memories, and yet rejoicing that I have a home where I feel very much at home. Earlier in the day I had been writing to Ugandan friends so that Rachel will take my notes to them. I realized more fully as I wrote them how much at home I am here. If I ever visit Uganda again it will be special and I will know why I am doing it. But I don't need to go there to find some missing part of myself. I think that is necessary for my daughters, or at least for them to confirm them in who they now are. But for me, who went to Uganda as an adult, it seems different. And I have also lived in many places. So for me what is most important is to feel at home and rooted where I am. Then all things are possible, and I can be an armchair traveller, or I can go short distances like we did today, and gain great blessing from the time. It is good to have different seasons in our lives. This is how I feel today. Tomorrow may be different, and that will be fine too. But for today, this is a joy, and I treasure it.