joy in not being consumed

Yesterday's lectionary readings at church included the story of Moses' encounter with the burning bush. The sermon focused on how, with God's presence, we can survive intensity of experience and not be consumed, whether it be intense joy or intense suffering. As I listened in the morning, and went through the day, and then the night, I could attest to the sweetness of God's presence in the midst of my pain. In fact, I was even rejoicing, as I did in my blog post yesterday, at how all that I have been through with His grace has enabled me to function so well in so many situations, despite what is going on in the moment. I think that is some of what I meant when I said I had come out of the basement. But today in the very early hours of the morning, having had no sleep, I have to say that the intensity of my emotional pain again is of the level that would be unbearable without God's presence in it. It is indeed like an ever burning bush but it doesn't consume me. It reminds me of the intense joy I have felt about the same situation in past moments. That joy was so intense as to be almost unbearable. I am grateful that I had a lovely time of worship when I was helping to lead worship yesterday evening. I felt such a sweet closeness with the Lord in those moments, as I did in communion time in the morning service. I remember a book I read many years ago in Scotland, called My Path of Prayer. I have never forgotten Richard Wurmbrand's story in it of his confinement in an underground prison, and of his intense sense of God's presence with him there. It was so intense that when he was released, he missed the intensity of God's close presence. I have written about being in the basement, about finding treasures in the darkness, which have been God's promises to me. Now I have found the burning bush in a new way. Now it is more than the sign of God's call, or His holiness. Now it is a reminder of His ever present promise to us all that when we walk through the waters He will be with us, and when the flames are all around us we will not be consumed. Now it seems that the flames are within me, but, like Daniel, my spirit can walk in the midst of my own inner burning, my own excruciating pain, and not be consumed. If anything is a sign to me of God's presence within me by His Holy Spirit, this is. For I know I can somehow find rest, peace and sleep, in the midst of this pain. And trust for tomorrow, for I am not consumed.