joy in seeking a "single eye"

This past week has been one of greater struggle within myself, with greater sorrow and gloom, but also with greater fruit. When I quoted the hymn last Sunday I pondered the words " When through the deep waters I call thee to go". Was God calling me into ever more difficult inner battles? Little did I know. And yet I was seeking to "lighten up". How would the two fit together? Well, yesterday morning, in a brief sleep after a restless night, during which time I wrote my previous post, I had a dream. In the dream I looked in a mirror and saw my face with only one eye in the middle of my forehead. In the dream I freaked out at first, and cried out "God, heal me!" I felt him say that it was okay, that the reflection in the mirror was a good thing. Either He was saying that I had developed a "single eye" or that He wanted me to. The fact that I was gazing into a mirror could mean a number of things, but one meaning could be that the mirror of my circumstances was showing me that I now have singleness of vision about myself or about situations. I have begun to unpack these meanings. What's scary too is that there can be multiple layers of meaning in that single eye, and if you google about it, as I did, there will come up lots of stuff about intuition, mystical vision, occult related meanings, etc. And as I am a very intuitive person, there may be some levels of truth in all that in the dream about me. God may be saying that my intuition is revealing things to me and that is good, and that He wants that to continue. But my main concern is that I see with His vision, His eye, and scripture has lots to say about that. The sermon on the mount was very plainly about needing to have a "single eye" in order to live rightly and appropriately with God's mind and heart in the world. I think, by way of contrast, God is also saying to me that many of my struggles have come from a sort of double vision of reality. I can heartily agree. Of course I have to ask, and ask Him, which version of reality do I choose when I choose to see things singly? And of course the answer for me as a Christian is to see His version. Then of course I have to ask what is His version? And it could be that His version is also connected to my intuition!! So I could go on and on, and I don't have time to do that today. But I have caught a thread that is leading me to the centre of the maze within my struggles and out again. God's guidance on my journey is making me less afraid, and more able to lighten up, but with HIS light. I can lighten up, even in the midst of heavy circumstances, because I choose to have HIS light as the source of my "eye" the "lamp" of my body, the ground of my intuition. I look forward to learning more from Him and His word in scripture, and His word within my being, in the days to come. Truly this fiery trial has born fruit, has cleansed more darkness from my being, has brought more of His light into my being. This is cause for joy.