joy in not throwing away confidence

Today is a throwing away day. I am sorting again, a deeper sort, continuing to ask myself the right questions. Do you really need this? Do you still like this? Do you want this? By the end of the day more of my own stuff, and my mother's stuff, will be in bags and boxes ready for a charitable pick up, a drop off at the thrift store, the recycling depot, or the next garage sale. I will feel a little more pruned and refreshed, and a lot more organized. These days when supply teaching is more sporadic I will consider my time well spent.

Not that I haven't been trying to do this for a long time, as I have rummaged in the space between dreams and reality, my old dreams and my new ones. But somehow today is more intentional. But it is also hard because my body, although better slept, is feeling creaky. My exercise routines haven't really kicked in fully yet. But deep down I have confidence that I will see my way through. Yet this morning I was tempted to think that I had thrown away my confidence as well. The baby with the bath water.

Then I read the excerpt for the day from Daily Light on the Daily Path. Aha. There were the words I needed:

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. Hebrews 10:35

Imagine throwing away confidence!! And yet in one way or another I have done a lot of that in my life. Not so much about things, but about myself and the possibilities of what God can do with and in my life. Maybe that is why He has had to speak to me so directly sometimes.

And I guess my problem that way is not unique. We see such discouragement all around us. My main job as a parent seems to be in instilling confidence in my children. Same with my teaching. Guess it will be the same with my counselling one day. I need to learn those lessons on a rock bottom, basement type level, each day these days. Facing the throwing away of stuff and yet learning not to throw away confidence with it, when I get discouraged at how I have not faced some things before. But then I can use it to build my confidence, reminding myself that at last I AM facing them more resolutely, as I also have done so many times in my life, and I will build on that.

May it be so for all of us today.