Yesterday turned out differently than I expected. In the night Jim had some numbness in his left hand and I underreacted because of my experience with getting that sort of thing sorted out by a chiropractor. I came down to breakfast to find him with an instruction from the doctor to go to emerg asap as it might have been a mini stroke. So all at once we were into a new thing. Out of my control.
Glad to have emerg to go to. Glad I was not supply teaching. Glad Sarah was home and glad the girls together could be there with him in the evening while I returned to pottery class. Glad they were considerate and careful at emerg. Glad to get the facts about strokes and to watch over these first 48 hours. Glad Jim and I used our understated personal style to care for him in emerg. Lots and lots to be glad about. How differently it might have been and may be one day. But I have been given a warning, given a chance to think ahead in practical ways about future possibilities. Jim, at 81, is getting some more insights into how to live life gracefully with physical issues he hasn't had before.
How many people have walked this road with great fortitude and grace. How small these issues are for us just now. How kind of God to give us a chance to practice and prepare.
Yet of course the deeper issues remain. Our vulnerability is highlighted in every way. The questions lie just beneath the surface. How will this affect my working future? How true the verse from the Bible about not boasting about tomorrow for you never know what a day will bring forth.
But once again we are called to trust, to rejoice always, to expect God to make a way, no matter what is going on. And to appreciate the moments we have together in the meantime, to respect each other more and more, to think through plans and issues and all their implications.
Sounds a lot like growing up, not just about growing old. I went through some of this with my mother, and six months after her death I look at things with my husband. I do not know what the future holds. But I know Who holds the future, and I rest, each day, in that trust and knowledge.
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2 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear that your husband is not well, Meg.
May God watch over you both and may every need be met by him who loves to show his care for his children.
Thanks for your concern, Belinda. Other than the weakness in three fingers, which he can use, he is as normal, as fatigue and reduced activity have been "normal" for him for some time. He went out to Rachel's Honour award ceremony tonight, and tomorrow night he shows slides of Israel at youth group, so he is not home alone, and i can go back to the last night of pottery class. He wants us to continue with our plans to go away the weekend after next. He is accepting, and we will see the specialist soon.
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